Warrior Mom!

I felt like a warrior mother today! You have very few days as a mother that everything goes smoothly. Today was one of those wonderful and very memorable days. When you feel like your an amazing person. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I watch a little girl named Abby. We got out the door as soon as she arrived and headed to Omsi where other mothers gather and watch their little ones go wild and learn about all kind of stuff, science, art, music, and water and sand of course! We go on a weekly bases and meet other moms there as well. So I met a friend there got my Starbucks because anyone who has 3 pulse kids deserves it. As we played and talked the kids got restless so I decided to go on a walk around the waterfront. We oh I mean I walked for a little under a mile with a kid on my back and two kids in the stroller. I went up a few hills and lets just say I am hurting since then!!!!!Then I needed to get some rice and soy yogurt for Bellla and Brasil. We headed to Whole Foods and found that they only had Bella's cookies but no yogurt. So I packed the kids in for the third time in the car and headed to New Seasons. (I hate shopping at both these stores its very expensive,but Bella has a lot of food allergies) Then unpacked all three car seat for the third or fourth time and got one of those caravan shopping carts and headed into the store while everyone watched me as I strolled in with my cute white baby! I felt like a proud parent oh wait I am just her babysitter! We went and got Bella yogi as she calls it and was amazed that they were on sale 89cents outstanding!So we bought 26 of them they eat two on a daily bases! Then we checked out and I felt on top of the world. So I screamed out the parking lot," we did it girls we did it!!!!!!!!!!!!"Hooray We did it and all of you acted right!!!!!!Thank you God in the heavens for this wonderful day." Simply beautiful and went home and cooked lunch and they took long naps! I felt accomplished today and that's funny in it self because being a mom is harder then it looks.

Family TIME

Yesterday we spent a whole hour with our kids just laying on the floor with them it was outstanding. We turned our 12 channels off and just kicked it on the floor. Bella got her blanket and got her daddy his blanket he has had since he was ten.(awe so cute) Bella rubbed my back and said go night night mommy. She is really cute and caring and Brasil could not stop climbing and moving over her daddy. It was a moment that was beautiful and lovely. We bonded! Family time is a precious thing we love it and go for walks or to the park on a daily bases. Tory and I get to talk on our long walks and the girls get to get out of the house and see nature.But yesterday we just were too tired to move and sat on the floor with them it was sooo fun. We really love thes two girls and then we randomly said a prayer of thanks for this family time and Bella started to pray for all the family and extended family it was very sweet. God must have been watching and smiling at Bella's sincere prayer of blessing for her family.

God is there when its dark

I have been through the toughest year since I became a christian. All that I believed in was into question through different trials. I have tried not to loose hope. But it has been tough. I felt like I just lost myself, my friends , my ideals, my house and my call. I am very independent person and through this experience I had to depend on God. When we moved to Portland my little girl Bella began to have chronic asthma attacks it was painful watching my baby not be able to breath. I was pissed at God for a few months. But in the mist of this my husband, family and my friend Rachel have been there for me. I felt like not leaving the house and if you know me that is bad!!!!!! So finally I had to ask God to forgive me and help me deal with life. I thought I was more spiritually fit but I have found myself more weak then ever before. It has been hard because I am a person that finds help and cries out for it. But I really did not have the strength. God has been close and again my husband Tory and my friend Rachel have been close as well. In darkness God seems to still speak and sends us special friends Rachel and Tory were them. I am coming out of that darkness and it feels good. But dark times is where your Christianity is really tested. You have a lot of time to think and ponder life in darkness. I have reflected a lot and forgiven a lot of not just others but myself as well. I have mentored a lot of women in my life time and I have realized that at times I was way to hard on them and also myself. I have worked hard for God and in that moment I lost my own Focus on God. Its weird how when your trying to do something good for The Lord or whatever cause you can loose your self in the mist. I have learned a lot and if I have ever offended any of you I am so deeply sorry. I have tried to keep growing in my walk with God and I have realized how undone I still am and how much I still need the Lord. I can be a self righteous at times I know. I grew up in a non christian family but I was always very moral and God has had to show me that my righteousness is nothing it still is dirty and needs Him. I truly have never felt like hurting anyone and in this hard and long season I have seen how hard I can be on others. I felt like I had to parade my righteousness on others. And I am done with that. I want to be Christ like and he is truly gentle and kind and full of grace for all of us. I want to be like him and know that there is standards but are not meant to be harshly presented. I love God and his people and want to always serve him in all that I do. Since I became a christian I have not stopped talking and this year has been a lot of me listening. I have discovered a new level of Gods Grace then ever before. As I have cried and was angry this year about not being where I thought I should be in life, He was there holding me through my friends and my husband being still and listening to my rants and whispering is a gracious voice its will be okay I love you, because you are are mine and I am committed to making you whole. Daughter I am here and I will never leave you or forsake you. You are not forgotten and this dark time is a time of refreshing and healing for you. Forgive and move forward. I am crying as I write because God is real and sooo good and tender and that is what draws me to him not his rules and regulations which are good but its his kindness that has been a shield to my heart in this season. I love you lord please continue your work in your servant.

Use what you have and make the most of it!

So we just bought a modest house in Portland Oregon. Its from the 1950's and its a ranch style house. I am thankful for it. I have been dying to decorate it and on one income that has been tough!(T works for a nonprofit) So I did not want to put anything up until we painted and did cool stuff to it.(Like the house is alive) Then one afternoon this week I decided enough was enough with the bare walls and no style to write home ABOUT! So I was desperate and got inspired. I searched in all my rooms (3) and even outside in the patio looking for stuff to decorate with. And guess what I found a lot of stuff! I could not believe it! I went shopping in my own casa!! So I went nuts while the girls napped.(thank God for naps, even though I did not believe in them at first) I picked up sofas with my bare hands and put up color with window coverings, I had already in the closet. Wow then I found a good find a 1950 yellow stepping stool that I used as a side table against the sofa.(which was outside left hear by the previous owner) I decided to get creative and make my casa look cute and not be held hostage any longer by the lack of money. It was like a Cinderella moment! Yes ladies and gentlemen you too might have stuff to reuse!(Wow I sound sooo Oregonian) For example a wooden TV tray can used as a side table and buffet and well anything you can imagine. Tory came home and said wow babe I love it. Those words are powerful to my ears after a long tiresome day of decorating on nooooooo budget! P.S spray paint in my best friend in the whole wide world it can transform any piece of ugly furniture you have! Have a wonderful time looking at all your stuff with bigger lenses! Also look on craigslist and thrift store and or moms casa!!!!

So I married my best friend!!

I just realized that I married my best friend. I am joking I have known this for years. Today when I got home Tory started to clean my car out. Its like he read my mind. That's what best friends do right? I had debated all day if I wanted to waste eight bucks to clean out my car. I thought," what if it rains," and," I can do something at Starbucks with eight bucks." So I went home with a dirty and nasty car. I was too cheap to get it cleaned. So when Tory started to do it I asked him, "why are you cleaning my car," and he responded because," I wanted to". Oh my boo he is too kind to me. I really have fallen more in love with my best friend (since high school) and it feels sooo good. I love growing old and finding out what you mate likes and needs. I guess seeing and being one is too cool.

Speechless

Today I was speechless my baby girl Brasil walked! She has been thinking about it for weeks now and finally decided it was her time, her moment in life to take her first steps. Her great ant was their to see and encourage her, because I was speechless. I simply could not talk it was like seeing history in the making and I was very joyous. You see, I missed Bella's first steps, and her performance was only witnessed by her daddy. So today I was thrilled to see this important moment. Her dad got the camera of course and we just took in the moment. Today was special and very exciting. Its also a window in how Brasil's personality will be, because she totally took her time! We didn't push her either, because I knew it would only make her mad at me.I love this girl.

Fits and mo Fits

Wow Bella is crazy! I had to write this down. She was playing with a bike today, and fell down and got up really angry. She kicked the bike and said, "No bike No," and I laughed because its something that I would do!!!! Hint hint she gets it from her mama. Anyhow to me its funny how these kids get the worst and best parts of you. Sometimes I just sit there and can't even get mad at her or know what to say because that's exactly how I would respond. Life is funny even when you think you can cover up an imperfection it still shows up to haunt you. I can get real fired up about stuff and its good and bad. Its bad when its at bank sitting in the car in line and its good when I see injustice and do something about it. But its been the fight of my life to keep that fire in check for the right moments. So I keep on trying to gain self control, so that maybe Bella doesn't have as many battles to fight in life. But it was sure funny seeing her fight with her bike today, later today it will be her doll or her sister or even me!

My Boo

I was just thinking of my boo today. I love him sooo much he really balances me in so many ways. He adds that spice that I need. When I first met Tory he was always different then the rest. I mean his taste in food, activities, and music. I love this about him because I grew up in a family that was and is very Latin. We love coffee and pan Dulce in the morning and beans and rice are a staple in all meals even breakfast.When we go out to eat its to our favorite Mexican restaurant. So when I met Tory and he wanted to go to a Vietnamese restaurant I held on tight for the ride of my life. I am very predictable in what I like and don't like and he is the total opposite. So I am challenged in my thoughts and views and taste and activities. He loves to garden? What thirty year old brother likes to garden. Wow that took me over the top! Its funny I always fight him and even make fun of him but in the end I end up loving the activity too. I am really a copycat according to him. He loves old cars, and really old anything.I love new its awesome feeling to sport new. But anyhow just wanted to share on how great its is to be married to someone to so opposite of me!!!!! P.S. the picture is of Tory learning to can peaches!Wow never a dull moment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!