Drove to Nature

I was not feeling good this last week Bella was up a lot with Asthma stuff and so I packed them in the car and thought we are going to Ikea and just look around. I got all ready and they fell asleep in the car. So I decided to play fair, and just keep driving, got some drive through starcrack! Perfect way to get more energy if you ask me. Then I went and filled my gas tank and the girls continued to sleep. I paid and it came out to twenty six dollars, so I began to ponder where can I drive to and not have to get out of the car. I knew it Crown Point in the Colombia River Gorge. So I took marine drive the scenic drive all they way up to the mountain. I got to pray and worship God it was fabulous. The kids kept sleeping and I kept praising Him as I looked into nature from the safety of my car of course!!!!lol lol....Then I got to the top and God began to speak to me and it was wonderful. Nature really reminds me of the greatness of God and How amazing and creative he is really is. All the colors and mountains and waterfalls simply breathtaking. As I looked Bella got up and it was so fun showing her all the wonderful beauty that God has made for us. I cried tears of pure joy at what Gods Goodness provides for us. I was rejuvenated by his artwork he created for us to breath in and reflect on the creator of it all.I took a lot of deep breaths in and asked God to continue his work in me and to give me the focus to walk with Him. The desire to hear Him and whats he wants to say to me. It was really a very deep spiritual moment being out there in the woods alone with God. So then I came home and oh there is an outlet mall lets hit it!!!!!Got real excited to go to gap and then took my little ones out with fresh energy and zeal and Brasil had blown out her outfit with number two. It was nice I took some deep breaths and pumped myself up you can do this girl its all you!!!!So I got all the wipes I could and began to bathe Brasil with them. I think I used a half a box of them on her rear. Then I got to a bathroom disinfected my hands and got after Gap in a major way!!!Totally fun day!!!!!Kids are amazingly good for me in all ways shapes and forms!!!!!

Bella and sister time

Bella is coming alive in her emotions to Brasil. She said to Brasil all day, "come here little sista I love you" and kissed her on her forehead! This was beautiful to watch and then brasil snuggled with her. I am becoming a sappy woman later on in life, but that was a moment that had to be written about. I love these two they are so sweet and bring a tenderness out of me that I really did not know was there. I love how they are changing me and tenderizing me everyday!These are the moments that make be joyful.

The Journey

I have been thinking lately how hard it is to walk with God when times are hard but when life is a bit boring or mundane. I stay home with the girls and at times can go crazy being home with two toddlers. I find it hard to at times to simply and faithfully walk with the Lord on a daily bases. I also have had a year to transition back to Portland and am getting into my grove again in life. But the last year was very difficult to accept and deal with. So all of last year was a year of transition and its was a time to reflect during nap times and a time to adjust to having two kids. One year later its getting easier and I a finding that a year of reflection and isolation had left me starved for human interaction. But I also learned valuable lessons in isolation. I learned I have been a work horse and that Tory and I needed to become more one in our marriage. I learned that I don't like change and that change is really good for me. I learned that I like things to go my way or the high way and that was hard to see in me but a great reminder that I still need the cross. I learned that I loved the approval of people above Gods. I learned that some of the ways I approached ministry must change and that is wonderful to the soul. I learned that I am a minister from the depth of my soul and that God had too challenge me on all fronts to bring me out a better wife, friend, and minister. I also learned that my daughter having asthma has been very hard to deal with but has kept me on my knees!!!!I don't know about you but I forget about God in Good times and in bad times I get angry with Him. I wish that were different, but hopefully I mature in time. I know He is patient though as I am with my daughters when they make a mess out of themselves. I have learned many lessons out of tremendous pain and pressure, but I feel like I have a better perspective on life and God then I have had since I got saved. He is a very loving and gentle father who sees our pain and longs to be with us an a intimate way. I love God for that. I live in a forest really we have like five huge fur trees in my backyard I have looked out in the morning or afternoon and remembered the greatness of God. My backyard reminds me of nature and how God made it for us and its a healing thing to be in it.I am from a worn torn nation, a dysfunctional family, and am a broken person, and when I think back on my history personally I see that God was there when I was sad, mad, happy, and angry!I love this God who does not falter even when we want to give up on life. I am so glad he does not fail and meets us when we are broken and need him the most. I love the Lord with all my soul and can now see through that darkness and am really excited about it the light at the end of the tunnel!!!!!!!!!God has always some through for me in the last hour and its been great to see his working hand. I cant always see what he is doing but I love the results he brings me. I also pray that I can simply walk with him when I was younger I ran for God and with and from Him at times, now I want to walk, simply and faithfully walk with Him in Good Times and Bad Times. I want to mature in how I view life and trials.

Brasil's first Haloween Party!!!!!A blast!!!!!!!